End of year review and setting goals- done differently, obvs

It can be so easy at this time of year to set huge lofty goals for next year, without actually spending any time reflecting on how this year has gone.

If you have perfectionist or ‘black and white’ thinking tendencies it can be all too easy to focus on what you haven’t done instead of thinking about all the things that you have done. If you find that you seem to start every new year setting targets that you rarely meet, I’d encourage you to do some serious reflection before moving forwards. Let me give you some examples from my own life, as I reflect on 2023 and think about how I want 2024 to look.

Fitness

I started 2023 with an exciting fitness goal. I joined a gym I was so excited! And then I injured my knee quite badly when I was getting all excited doing reverse deficit barbell lunges with 60Kg on the bar … on the 23rd January- ugh! My knee has definitely not recovered and in fact I have an MRI appointment on NYE at 8am (Which is a Sunday morning!! Thank you and all credit to the NHS!). This has meant my year has not had the fitness focus I wanted it to. I have been in a lot of pain with my knee, and my progress has felt like 2 steps forwards and 1 step back. My body image also took a bit of a pummelling as I was unable to focus on body functionality for a while there too. I’ve run on occasions and completed the 12km Total Warrior event with a Team- but I’m definitely not running fit at the moment. HOWEVER, about 2 months ago, after a few false starts and a fair few set backs with my knee, I started getting fit again - and now I honestly feel incredible for it. It is totally normal to have set backs. Injuries are not uncommon. What matters is how you respond to setbacks!

So for 2024 I’m really looking forward to prioritising my training again. I turn 45 at the start of January and I have to admit there was a point last year that I decided to sack it all off as I was too old. However… I am very happy to report that I am most definitely NOT in that headspace now and I am working towards getting pull ups again and just generally feeling strong and fit in my body- a feeling that I love. I’ve not any plans to compete at anything fitness-y again, but there is a little spark in the back of my head that is pulling me back to Crossfit- but, we will see! I’m just so happy to not have written myself off last year!

Business and professinal

At the beginning of 2023 I was very much still recovering from the burnout I suffered with in 2022- in fact I was probably still burnt out. I knew I needed to change the way I was working- but I was unsure exactly how I was going to be able to do it without letting a tonne of people down.

I spent a lot of time getting clear on my values, and also spent time this year getting to know myself again. This year was the year I realised that I have used work to mask to avoid the grief of Jim’s death. This realisation was huge for me, and I’ve also concentrated on being compassionate with myself about it- I did the best I could.

During 2023 I supported Katie to get her qualification so that she could teach classes on Kendal Green, and employed Sophie to delivers Pilates online for Team Happy and 1-1 clients too. As a small business owner, and a self employed person these were both big, experimental steps in seeing what would work.

I decided at the end of this year to finally stop the classes I ran on Kendal Green after nearly 4 years. This was a huge decision for me, but one that represents me allowing myself to move forwards with other areas of my business that I am uber passionate about. Not an easy decision to make, and like anyone when we make a big decision, we can spend time second guessing ourselves afterwards and worrying about how we communicated that decision. But, you can only do the best you can at the time.

And 2023 was the year that the quality of my 1-1 Coaching soared- which I find hard to say but that I’m actually proud of. I am proud that the Coaching I have delivered in 2023 has impacted so many individuals in such positive ways. 2024 offers an opportunity for me to take some big steps forwards with my 1-1 Coaching as I’ve freed up more time, headspace and energy for it. I don’t want to hugely grow my client base- part of what I love about what I do is limiting the number of people I work with so that my service can be individualised-but I do want to continue to improve the level and depth of the service I offer to 1-1 clients.

In 2024 I’m planning to increase the number of the emails I sent out weekly , get consistent with my blog writing and also firmly get my foot in the door with podcasts. I’m going to feel the fear and do it anyway!

I have a couple of Counselling courses booked in for 2024- which i’m super excited excited about, and have ordered myself a pile of exciting books too. More reading is on the cards in 2024, and I might finally manage to get myself working in a cafe once a fortnight or so- which I’d really like to do.

Personal

One of my biggest revelations this year has been learning to feel ginormous emotions. Giving myself space to feel them has been an absolute revelation. As someone who has worked basically more than full time for her whole adult life, giving myself time (by working less) to deal with difficult things has hugely helped me. I am feeling back more like me than I have for a really really long time.

I’ve a gentle fat loss goal at the moment. Since the beginning of 2023 I’ve lost around 7kg (weight I gained as a result of burnout and peri menopause and starting HRT and generally just eating too much!), and I’ve a bit more I’d like to lose as we head into next year. I’ve found this so much harder than I ever have before, and have had a number of ‘false starts’. Like anyone who is on a fat loss journey, I wish it was going quicker- but it’s not so i’ve had to suck it up. I can’t believe where the time has gone this year, and I can’t believe its taken me so long. BUT, I do think to myself if I hadn’t been working on fat loss, where would I be with it now? Hormonal changes have affected my appetite massively and it’s taken a lot of time, patience, curiosity and experimentation to workout the best way for me.

Huge for me in 2023 was working on my relationship with food. I’ve been an emotional eater pretty much my whole life, and after Jim died I used ‘control’ over food as a way to deal with grief too. There’s been a lot to unpick, but giving my self space and time and compassion and investing in Coaching for myself have all been incredible game changers here.

Grief is hitting hard these days. I’m holding on and digging dig and trying my best. I thought things would get easier as time passed, but it’s not just now. Cuddling Kitty extra hard at the moment.

Social, family and relationships

I’m so happy with how this part of life has grown in 2023 and I’m hoping for more of the same in 2024. After years of solely focusing on work (which I now understand to have partly been a response to my grief), I’ve loved loved loved becoming and feeling more connected to people I care about. It’s been pretty amazing and I just genuinely buzz off it every time I feel a glimmer- which are getting more and more frequent.

I’ve loved singing this year. Joining my choir in April was a game changer, but I have to say I hated it at first! In my head, committing to something once a week seemed absolutely impossible- which just shows where my headspace was at the time. Now I skip there, do all the extras and practice loads outside of sessions. Definitely been part of my rediscovering a lost part of myself, and I’ve met loads of lovely people there too.

In 2024, I’ve toyed with doing more singing and going to 2 sessions a week… but I know if I want to achieve my work targets that won’t be possible. I’ve had to talk myself down from this one… and remind myself there’s still time and I don’t need to rush it. I’ve years of singing ahead of me and there’s still so many people I want to help through my work.

In 2024 I’m planning to take Kitty on a solo trip to see my sister in The Netherlands, and hoping to see my other sister more too. I’d also like to spend more days out with my mum and keep seeing at least one friend each week for a coffee/ walk / catch up. It might sound daft to some people for me to make ‘goals’ like this, but honestly it’s the area of my life that I find easiest to ‘let go’ as I have a tendency to hibernate or work- or both!- so it’s helpful to actually reflect on social things that help make me feel good.

Home

2023 was the year that I started my big tidy up! Inspired by a few things, and enabled by having more time and not working so much, I’ve finally got round to sorting things in the house that we’ve been in for 6 years. Honestly it’s felt so therapeutic to get a bit more order going on- but Kev has yet to get the memo that we don’t need to keep everything in case we ever need it again! A work in progress that feels good.

I’ve also enjoyed getting into the garden in 2023 and am back loving my house plants (after a period in which they all died ). This year I’m excited for a little more gardening though if anyone tells me to do it I shall run a mile from it! Definitely one of those things that if someone starts telling me how/ what I ‘should’ do- i’ll retreat from it! So if you know me, please don’t mention it -yet! I haven’t any plans as such yet, but i’m hoping Father Christmas will bring me some garden centre voucher so that’ll be exciting. I mean, I guess “exciting” depends who you ask- but for me, this is great! Ha ha!

Kev and I have some plans for the house in 2024. Our ‘doer-upper’ is taking longer than I’dd like- but fingers crossed for some noises, messy and dirty stuff happening next year!

I hope that this little over sight of my own end of year review and some gentle goals I’ve set myself for 2024 helps you to review your year and set some goals for yourself with fierce self compassion too. I cringe that I used to set SMART goals with clients when I first started… but remind myself that if you’re not looking back at what you used to do and cringing, then you’re probably not doing things right.

If you’d like some help with your health and fitness in 2024, you know where I am x